So I’ve been to very few parties/events as an adult. I always say I like my own time/space but then feel so lonely especially at certain times of the year.
I’ve never been to a Halloween or Christmas party other than as a kid, I’ve been to barely any birthday parties – mums 70th, dads 60th, sisters 30th, partners 60th, a friends 55th and a few family/friends gatherings at my parents house. I’ve never hosted anything or been invited to others parties.
Before 2020 covid times, there was a group of us that would meet up down the local micropubs, go off to beer festivals together etc but I’ve come to realise they are no more than drinking buddies. Since 2020 I’ve barely seen anyone of them, not been invited to things they all do together and don’t speak to them online or via phone.
I don’t talk to anyone online or via phone, I don’t ever meet up with anyone but I may see certain people like I said at a pub or local gig. Now the gig people are also just gig buddies, I may speak to them on messenger or comment on an FB post but that is it. I have ‘friends’ on FB from previous jobs but that it.
I don’t have anyone to ask how their day/week is going, if they want to meet up for a coffee etc
Now it’s Halloween and the parties are going up on FB. One Tuesday and the same group have a party on Friday, as much as I like seeing them I also hate seeing them as these are the ‘gig’ buddies who I realise with be nothing more than that and I start to feel alone.
Next it’s Christmas and I’m expecting the same people to be posting multiple parties again. I have no plans for Christmas and I’m only out on New Years as the performer is someone who I just adore & who I actually do speak to online but who I can’t see ever becoming ‘friends’. The same ‘gig’ buddies will be there as they are her friends and have been for many years.
Let me have my moment of depression, maybe at some point I’ll come out of it.